Livejournal accountsConnection with realitySexual attraction to Sonic the hedgehogBea Arthur, Super Saiyan 4 Gojita hook-ups written aboutBea Arthur going Super Saiyan 4Cease and Desist lettersFans of your fluid proseFans of your lurid descriptions of Pikachu’s a-hole
Chance of returnCraziness of road tripProbability you come back with crabsForeign cultures learned about and appreciatedWells drunkenly dug for impoverished villagersFriends kidnapped and held hostage by local militants
Urgency of defecation break Amount of turnips eaten Amount of mashed potatoes eaten Wine drunk Tolerability of own family Attractiveness of second cousin Living grandparents
Hugs received from friends and family Number of t-shirt changes per day Excuses made People jokingly asking “where’s the pool?” People seriously wanting to know where you just went swimming Likelihood that it’s To The Oldies Degree to which you have your own scent and that the scent is known to the wider world. Ex:…
TensionPassive aggressive notes about the fridge Manslaughter trialsManslaughter convictionsPringlesAttention paid to school workTimes that hCHAD! WHAT THE F*CK? I TOLD YOU TO LAY THE F*CK OFF MY XBOX AND NOW IT’S FROZEN!
Number of Drunken Floor PartiesNumber of “Funarrific” Floor PartiesLikelihood that you will be friendsNumber of people’s doors always open“I don’t care what you guys do, as long as I don’t see it”How bullsh*t it is that you got bustedWillingness to follow dorm rules